Advice for Salesmen

Here’s some general advice that I’d just like to put out there in the vastness of the world wide web. It’s specifically targeted towards carpet salesmen, but feel free to substitute ‘carpet’ for any other product.

If you’re a big, fat, bald, sweaty man who shows up in shorts, a basketball singlet and thongs, then I’m probably gonna get the feeling that you’re not all that professional. Try investing in a shirt and pants, some shoes, a stick of deodorant and a handkerchief for that big shiny head. THEN I might consider purchasing something from you.