A Toe Tale

I stubbed my toe on nothing and now it's a funny colour. By nothing I mean the floor and by funny colour I mean a strange kind of purpley/black. I thought it was broken, but now i think it's just angry with me for hurting it. It's not bruised, it has just turned purple with rage at me being so careless.

How do you stub your toe on the floor? With a clever kind of stumble-hop manoeuvre that is brought on by tripping over a laptop power cord and landing with pretty much all of your weight on your little toe while it's bent. I would be purple with rage too if someone did that to me.

The only good thing to come out of it is that I haven't been able to wear my shoes for a couple of days, so have been wearing some comfy thongs to work. That's flip-flops for all you sickos who think I'm talking about underwear. I'm not sure a g-string would be helpful in alleviating toe-pain, although to be fair, if you were wearing just a g-string you would probably be off your feet, which might be of some assistance.