Bucket o' Coma

Friday, July 25, 2008

I have a bucket of Maltesers. That's 1/2 a kilogram of crisp malt centres covered with smooth milk chocolate. If I don't hide them soon, I will have an empty bucket, and probably some kind of weird diabetic coma.

Pleb Sickness

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

I am officially sick of having a pleb.

I can't remember if I've mentioned this before, but a month or two ago, my bosses hired me a sidekick to help me out with the boring day to day stuff that I'm too lazy busy to do. I get that this is probably an important and useful thing to have done, however after almost six years of working alone, I have to say that I'm not very receptive to having someone around all the time asking me questions and making lame joke. I'm also not a huge fan of people who don't pick something up after being told three times. I figure two or three times should be enough to have it sink in. Once so the idea is out there, a second time to remind him and a third time because there's a lot of stuff to learn and it makes sense that some things would slip through. After three times, there's no real excuse for not remembering, and after five or six, I'm just pissed off that I have to keep repeating myself.

Plus I think he escaped from a Revenge of the Nerds movie, so we don't even really have anything to talk about when he's not asking annoying questions.

If anyone wants to trade plebs, let me know.

Ceiling vs. Floor

Friday, July 04, 2008

Why would anyone in their right mind put a heater vent into a ceiling? It makes no sense at all - and I will tell you exactly why.
1) How can you sit on it to keep warm if it's in the ceiling?
2) How can you use it to dry your clothes that didn't dry on the line overnight when you're running late in the morning?
3) How can you put your underwear on it to warm up on a cold morning?
4) I could be wrong here, but I think basic science tells us that hot air rises - so you're denying the warm air the right to fulfil it's scientific purpose if it's already at the top of the room
5) How can you find that last 50 cents to pay the pizza guy on Friday night when the number one storage area for lost poo-change is upside down and hanging from the ceiling?

Craziness, I tell you.

Chief Suspect: Laziness

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Laziness broke my coffee table. I was trying to collect all of the junk (mostly coffee cups) from it without having to make two trips to the kitchen, and I dropped a mug on it, which bounced and shattered the glass tabletop. So really laziness and a mug broke my coffee table. I, on the other hand, am totally innocent.

I've been trying to buy some stuff from America and the annoying lady who runs the store told me that I wasn't ordering enough for it to be profitable for her to put the work into mailing it internationally. Since when is $700 cheap, and since when is it hard to stick some stuff in a box and take it to the post office? It's not like I was asking her to pay the postage - I have to pay nearly $100 for that too, so I don't really get how much work is involved in taking a box to a post office and handing over someone else's $100 to send it off.

Honestly, how lazy can one person be? I think she's just slack because when she ships within the USA, the company that makes the product ships direct to her customers, so she doesn't have to actually move at all. It's possible that she hasn't left the house in years, and has forgotten where the post office is and how to use her legs to walk there. I bet she has one of those electronic wheelchair things and she scoots around the house in that so she doesn't have to even put any effort into the day to day menial tasks.
Actually, that's not a bad idea - i might have to invest in one of those. If I had one, I could have filled up the little wire basket at the front with my coffee mug, and it wouldn't have broken the coffee table. Although that doesn't discount laziness from the equation, and who knows what could have happened as a result of laziness that severe...