Reunion or Silence

Some people I went to high school with are organising a 10 year reunion at the moment and they've been contacting everyone to see if they're interested.
For me, high school was an experience best forgotten and in all honesty, most of it has been. I couldn't stand 90% of the people I went to school with and I was indifferent to most of the remaining 10%.
There were only a handful of people that I spent any time with and that I had any vague interest in knowing. I'm still in contact with most of those people, but there is one person that I often think of and wish that I still knew.

He was probably my best friend in my final year of high school. We spent a lot of time together and as a result I think I am single-handedly responsible for him failing history. I had a free period at the same time as his history class, and he more often than not cut class to keep me company. Quite selfishly, I never stopped him because I enjoyed the company too much. Sorry about that JM.

I lost contact with him after high school. I remember the last day that we spent together and the strange kind of finality that there was about it all. I distinctly felt that the moments that we were spending together were going to be the last. I've never felt like that about anything before, or again. I'm not sure what that feeling was, but I recall sitting on some playground equipment in a school near my house and talking to him. I don’t remember what we said to one another but I recall that we were alone and I was trying to draw out the conversation a little so that it wouldn’t be over because I had this feeling that this was the end. I think maybe I was waiting for something to happen, and i'm not sure to this day what it was, but it didn't and now the actual moment that we parted is a little vague in my memory.

Since they contacted me about the reunion, I’ve been having incredibly vivid dreams about him and they've made me wonder whether I should try to contact him. We got along so well once and it seems like such a wasted friendship. I’d like to see what he is up to because I very much believe that he will be working hard to achieve what he always wanted - to be a writer - and it would make me happy to see that.

One of the main reasons I haven't tried to contact him is because of a conversation we had some time after that last day. It gave me a glimpse into the fact that he was becoming a very different person and it left me with a strange feeling that I think is what prevented me from reaching out to talk to him.

One day not long after school finished, I received a brief phone call in which he asked me for the phone number of a high school friend. It was short and to the point and it seemed like a regular, calm conversation.
I don't recall how I found out, but later someone told me that the phone call was because he thought the high school friend might be able to help him out – he and a friend had been experimenting with drugs and something had gone wrong - an overdose or something - and they thought this person might know what to do.

That episode left me with an odd feeling that I think is one of the reasons why I’ve never contacted him before now. I can’t really pinpoint what that feeling was, but I think it was partly the fact that he was doing things that I wouldn’t do myself, partly that he would call me when he was high and act like everything was normal and partly that he wasn’t honest with me about it. I felt at the time like it was a little like a betrayal of friendship – we were always honest with each other (as far as I recall) so it hurt a little bit to be lied to about something like that. It’s the kind of thing you hide from your parents, not your friends.

I wish that I could remember more of that final year of high school and the time we spent together, but it’s hard to reminisce alone. I think that if I knew he was going to be at the reunion, I might consider going along. I’m just a little concerned that it might ruin what are very fond memories by bringing me back to reality a little.
Then again, 10 years ago I was a different person too. I was a lot more naive and a lot more oblivious to the reality of other people’s feelings. I don’t know his reasons for not explaining the call. But I would really like to know his thoughts on that last day and if he had that same strange feeling of finality that I did.

It seems a little pointless to ask, knowing that very few people ever come across this page, but do you think that I should contact him? Or would it be a mistake to try to clarify memories that have the happy haze of time across them?