I am starting to have serious concerns that my fingers may be dyslexic.
Now I know that my brain is not, because as I type, I know exactly what should be appearing on the screen, and my brain thinks that my fingers are on the case, however once I go back over what I've typed, I find that things are not as they should be. Letters are jumbled up and in some cases, missing completely. This is a serious issue, and I was thinking that some kind of remedy is probably needed in order to get my typing back on track.
My first thought was a bit of tough love - discipline them into doing what they're told. Then I realised that beating up your own hands is not an altogether easy job, because a good and proper beating requires the use of heavy blunt objects, which must be lifted and swung around - usually requiring 2 hands to do so.
My next thought was that perhaps I could do a bit of positive reinforcement. I thought this through a bit more and couldn't come up with an adequate reinforcer. What would a hand like? What would a treat be? The only thing I could come up with was a manicure, and it's not entirely practical to give your hands a manicure after each correctly typed sentence. This idea went into the rubbish with the first.
My last thought was good old fashioned yelling and threatening to take things away. I gave this a bit of a go and found that yelling at my hands only seemed to further distract them. I threatened to take away the very shiny engagement ring that they love so much, but they saw right through my bluff and just laughed right in my face. (side note - hands laughing in your face is incredibly similar to hands waving in your face)
I'm at a total loss. I'm stuck with these challenged hands of mine and the problems are beginning to affect my life. I have to say - it's not ideal to have hands that often type the word 'sin' instead of 'sun' when you're designing playground equipment for kids. A spell checker will not pick up the fact that you have labelled something a 'smiling sin face' instead of a 'smiling sun face'.
I think i need to get my hands some serious help before it's too late...
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4 comments:
You forgot another option: Blame something else. The keyboard makes a nice start. Beating up keyboards is relatively easy. Of course, typing without a keyboard is a bit difficult, but I'm sure you'll think of something!
(I do approve of your new home, by the way. The old one's feed never seemed to work properly.)
(sorry about this- I just couldn't resist...)
Well, my first thought in any situation is always, "What does the Bible say on the matter? What does Jesus say on the matter?"
And lo and behold there is actually a passage in which Jesus talks about what to do in cases involving sin and hands:
Mt 5:30 - "If thy right hand offend thee, cut it off and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell."
Hmm, Something tells me that maybe it's a metaphorical right hand rather than a literal one he's talking about there. And I think cutting my hands off might be a bit extreme in this case. Maybe I'll wait until it gets me into some serious trouble before I consider that...
Heh - touche! I stumbled on this blog by googling the pun 'the sin will come out tomorrow' that I just thought. One of the depressing things about google is that it removes the illusion that one is capable of any originality.
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