Australia Day 2011

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

I’ve had a throat infection for the last week and as a result my voice has taken on a husky, phone-sex operator quality - which makes it interesting to make business calls. It does seem to make it a bit easier to get people to agree to pay their bills though.

It’s kind of strange, don’t you think, that something really gross like a disease with a name like ‘pharyngitis’ can make you more appealing? Well, at least for a brief moment on the phone. After that the sexy voice dissolves into a sort of pubescent teen voice-breaking kind of thing, which has the complete opposite effect.

I live in hope that I will lose my voice completely and will be able to take some time off work. If I’m going to be sick I might as well get something out of it.

It would be good if you could have a time-out from an illness. Tomorrow is Australia Day, and it’s a public holiday. I wouldn’t mind switching off the sore throat for a day so that I can enjoy myself, then turning it back on for work on Thursday so I can stay at home and watch trashy TV while eating ice-cream and claiming that it’s for medicinal purposes.

Tomorrow will be spent, as usual, having the obligatory Australia Day BBQ and listening to the Triple Hottest 100 while trying to ignore the elitist bullshit from the people who think they’re better than everyone else because they listen to Triple J and not ‘those crappy commercial sell-out stations’.

Hey, maybe I’ll be able to use my sexy new voice to convince them to shut the hell up.

2011 is clearly going to be a very cynical year for me.


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