Love by Numbers

If, like me, you thought that there was such a thing as a soul mate or true love, then apparently you’re wrong.

Making your relationship work has nothing to do with soul mates or anything spiritual – apparently all you need is a handy little checklist of things to do/not do and you’re set!

Researchers have managed to come up with a bit of a checklist for what will make a relationship last. It’s a bit of a list of all the things you should share in life that will make for a successful relationship.

You can read the news article here, but I’ve condensed it all down into a simple 10 point checklist that means all you need to do is check a few boxes and you could be well on your way to marital bliss.

1. The woman should be at least five years younger than the man.
   I assume this works because older men love showing off their ability to pull younger chicks and woman are partial to a man with a bit of experience.
   
   
   
2. Share at least three cuddles and four kisses per day
   If you don’t touch each other, then it’s just weird that you’re married if you ask me. Just don’t become one of those people who thinks it’s cool to stick your tongue down someone’s throat in an everyday social situation. I’m happy if you love each other, but I don’t need to see it while I’m trying to have fun.
   
   
   
3. Share two hobbies on a regular basis.
   I don’t think the items in point 2 count as hobbies, so it probably has to be something more like hiking, skiing or some other kind of physical activity that people weirdly seem to enjoy. Does sleeping count as a hobby?
   
   
   
4. Have two romantic meals a month
   Do you think having a pizza delivered counts? I think I’m probably averaging two per year at the moment. May have to work on this one.
   
   
   
5. Make at least three calls, texts or emails to each other per day.
   KJ and I work together, so if I were to call, text or email him 3 times a day, he might begin to think that I wasn’t doing my job properly. That maybe I had lots of spare time to do things like chat online to friends or write long-winded blog posts.... hmmmm....
   
   
   
6. Say ‘I Love you’ at least once a day’
   You can do this in one of the many phone calls or text messages from point 5 if you like. Convenient.
   
   
7. Organise at least one surprise weekend away per year
   Does saying ‘Surprise! I need you to go to Adelaide for work!’ count?
   
   
   
8. Take one holiday per year
   I could quite happily live with that, as long as I don’t have to go camping. Because no matter how you try to spin it, there’s nothing relaxing about sleeping on the floor and squatting behind trees.
   
   
   
9. 3 nights per week should be spent snuggling up watching TV or a movie.
   This one is easy, since I’ve decided this could be one of my hobbies. That way I can be sharing a hobby while also meeting the requirements of point number 9.
   
   
   
10. This is the one that really gets me – You should spend two separate nights away from each other per month.
    What the?! If every month you need to fit in 90 cuddles, 120 kisses, 4 or 5 outings for hobbies, two romantic meals, 90 calls/emails, as well as holidays and surprise weekends away, all while living your regular everday life - how exactly are you supposed to find another two days to not see each other?!