Internet Dating

After my old lady experience this week, I was looking forward to Saturday night where my best friend and I were planning to undo all of my very old-lady-like behaviours with copious amounts of cocktails. Ok, in all truthfulness, because I don't drink that often any more she would probably have had copious amounts of cocktails and I would probably have two or three and then spend the rest of the evening drunkenly telling the couch how much I've appreciated it's faithful service over the years then getting upset when it didn't respond.


However it would have ended up, Saturday night was going to be my young person night. Crap, that sounds like something an old lady would call it. Well, you get the drift. I was going to be silly and care free and kill some brain cells with brightly coloured liquids in margarita glasses.


Sadly, at 11am on Saturday morning, my best friend called to say she had to cancel. It was for this reason that tonight I find myself debating whether or not a solo trip to the local pub is worth it.

The thing is, when you go to a pub on your own on a Saturday night, two things are guaranteed to happen. 1 – you'll get drunk and talk to anyone who will listen, and 2 – you will get hit on. You are pretty much guaranteed to be chatted up by some guy, because really, why would you be at a pub alone on a Saturday night if you weren't looking to meet people?
Since I'm not looking to pick up and KJ is away all weekend, I decided against the pub and instead am spending the night at home painting the house.

Score check:
Young Torrygirl: 0
Old Lady Torrygirl: 2


The whole situation got me to thinking about what I would be doing right now if I were single. I would probably go to the pub; although to be honest, being such a nerd I think that if I was looking to meet someone, I would be more inclined to give online dating a go.


I feel kind of ripped off that I never had the opportunity to use internet dating. It's only really become a regular way to meet people over the last 5-10 years or so. Before that it was a bit taboo. I know couples who met online back when it was considered an unusual way to meet people, and they still won't tell most people how they met. The embarrassment is too deeply ingrained.
But nowadays it's completely normal and not even mildly embarrassing. I feel ripped off that my dating days were done before I had the opportunity to embrace my nerdiness and meet people in a way that I'm comfortable with. I think back to all those nights in bars and clubs trying to start up conversations with strange men and I realise that life would have been so much easier with the ability to just meet people online.


Thinking about all this made me wonder what I would put in my online dating profile if I were to need one. What do people put in them now? How much information is too much information?

With a whole lot of spare time on my hands tonight, I decided to browse around, see what the norm is, and have a go at writing my own. Everything I found seemed to have 3 sections. The first was a spiel about yourself and what you're doing on a dating website. The second was a basic profile, and the third was a section listing your interests and what you're looking for.
I omitted writing a big intro spiel about myself, because it would only seem false and stupid, since I have no real intention of internet dating, but I came up with my basic profile, and a list of interests.

So here it is, the online dating profile that will never be...

Profile
	My details	My ideal partner
Gender	Female	Male
Age	27 years old	27 yrs - 42 yrs old.
Location	Melbourne	Earth
Body type	Slim-ish.	Preferably not morbidly obese or skinnier than I am.
Smoking	Non-Smoker with a slight passive smoking addiction	-
Relationship status	Single	Single
Has kids	No	No
Want kids	Maybe	Maybe
Personality	Socially retarded. Expect me to say stupid things, but know that there is no malice behind them	Must have one.
Eye colour	Brown. Feel free to call it Hazel or Coffee if it makes me sound more alluring.	-
Hair colour	Dark Brown	It doesn't matter, but while filling this in I realised that I have never dated a blonde. It wasn't on purpose. Blondes are perfectly acceptable.
Zodiac Sign	Aries	-
Lifestyle
Drinking habits	Mostly socially, but also on Fridays for no real reason.	If you have more drinks every night than there are days in the week, then we just weren't meant to be.
Have pets	No	Preferably not, unless they're the kind that require no feeding, cleaning or attention
Education level	A bit of this, a bit of that.	Must be able to spell properly. No text speak. Don't say LOL unless you're actually laughing out loud. And if you say RFLMAO, you better have the carpet burns to prove it.
Career industry	Design	No jobless bums

WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR
A PC user who detests Mac smuggity.
Someone who will make me laugh and who values family.
Someone who puts the toilet seat down after using it without having to be asked – it's the little things that count, you know.

MY INTERESTS
Music
I'll listen to pretty much anything except grunge and thrash metal. I like something I can sing along to in the car/shower.
Reading
Anything and everything except politics.
Movies & TV
I'm a TV series addict. I love Lost, Alias, Northern Exposure, MASH, The Office, Brothers & Sisters (don't judge me, Sally fields was allegedly hot once so you probably love it too) and a heap more.
I'll watch pretty much any movie although I'm not a huge fan of horror. I can't start watching a movie and not see it through to the end – the only film I've never finished watching was 'Old Dogs' and to be honest, I'm not sure why I started watching it in the first place. Big Mistake.
Sport
No thanks. I don't run unless something is chasing me.
Other interests
I am an internet nerd, a blogger and I really like to dance, although I find that having a few beers first tends to improve my skill.



Now add to that a suitably saucy username and my profile is complete! I could just sit back and wait for the emails to pour in.