Mysterious Injury

I have somehow mysteriously given myself a back injury. It's not mysterious in the "I know exactly how it happened, but it's not for public knowledge" kind of way, it's mysterious in the "I sit down all day and when I got up to get something from the printer, my back was mysteriously agonisingly painful" kind of way.

So here I am at home today with nothing to do but trying to avoid moving as much as possible.


Back injuries really only have one purpose, in my opinion. It's to make you feel old. Because when your back is killing you and you can't really move, you feel like an 80 year old woman who has to spend all day in bed.


I need to come up with some un-old-lady things to do today to keep myself amused. The trouble is, these things need to involve as little movement as possible, so it's very possible that anything I do could feasibly be done by little old ladies as well.

The first thing that comes to mind is drinking. It's helpful in making me feel younger, and it has the added side effect of reducing my back pain.The problem here is that drinking and pain killers don't generally mix. Which makes me wonder if little old ladies generally don't drink much because they don't want to, or because their medication forbids it. When I put it that way, the most un old lady thing I could do would be to drink anyway, because it's the less sensible (and therefore less old lady) choice.

Then I thought maybe getting online might help. Old ladies aren't really big on using the internet, right? But then I remembered KJ's Grandpa, who is 88 years old and a massive computer nerd. And I realised that when I really am 80 years old, I will still know how to surf the web, therefore making it a pretty stock standard old lady thing to do.

I briefly thought about prank calls, because they don't require any real movement, but I realised that the novelty of prank calls wore off for me about 20 years ago, and to be honest, they weren't even that fun then.


So I guess the only thing left to do is to either get really drunk, or to give in to my old lady-ness. Obviously I'm pretty much there already,right? All I need are some knitting needles and an overbearing, demanding demeanour and I'll be set!